How Can Mindfulness Improve Your Sex Life?
Are you wondering how mindfulness can actually improve your sex life? Well, today I’m going to answer that question, and also give a little background about what mindfulness is, and how you can bring it into the bedroom.
One of the ways I teach clients to begin to learn mindfulness, is just to begin to heighten their awareness during activities that they do every day. So a classic example is, being mindful when you’re brushing your teeth. Now that may seem absolutely crazy, but basically what I want you to try to do, is, when you’re brushing your teeth, just begin to focus on … You can close your eyes while you’re doing it. If you’re in the shower, just begin to focus on, “What does the toothpaste tastes like?” Or, “How are my gums feeling? Am I getting all the way back in the crevices of my mouth? Oh Hey, it’s bubble gum.” How long are you brushing? Are you brushing adequately? Are you noticing sensitivity? Perhaps you’re focusing a little bit more on your tongue this time.
By focusing your awareness to an everyday activity, it’s bringing you in the moment. Because if you’re focusing on, “What does my toothpaste tastes like?” What you’re not thinking is about what your to do list is. Because our brain actually, as much as we talk about multitasking, our brain actually can’t do more than one thing at a time. So it can’t think about two things at the same time. So during mindfulness activities, really all you’re trying to do is focus on the present. And by focusing on something that you’re engaging in, like brushing your teeth, what you’re doing is beginning to heighten your awareness of the activity you’re doing, your thoughts around it, as well as heightening all the sensations.
Now, how do you bring mindfulness into the bedroom?
Again, once you practice being more mindful on your own, now when you get into the bedroom, you can really focus on the sensations your experiencing. The reason we really have sex is really to feel that sexual experience, feel those sensations as well as connect to our partner. The more present you are, the better able you are to do that. So to get your head in the game and really be in the moment and engaged in that sexual situation.
So step by step, this is something you can do on your own. And again, oftentimes when people think of mindfulness, they think, “Oh, I have to practice meditation.” Or, “Perhaps this is something religious.” And that’s really not the case. This is your own individual exercise, practice, whatever you wanna call it. But what it does, is just gets you to focus on where you are in the moment and how you’re feeling. Because remember, your sexual experience is yours. While our partners are there with us, it really is our own sexual experience that we have control over. So when our head isn’t in the game, this is really where mindfulness can actually help us ground ourselves, and focus and really enjoy the moment.
I hope this was helpful and if you liked this, feel free to like it, or share it. And that you can subscribe to my YouTube channel. I’ll be developing more videos about sex and relationship each week. So stay tuned for those, and join our community on Facebook by going to Psychotherapy Without Borders. Cheers!